Context – Forever present, largely ignored!
Do not take people out of context! Some do it day in, day out. It’s because of Level 1 Thinking (I’ll explain in a later chapter).
We meet people from all walks of life – the rich and the poor, happy or sad, optimists and pessimists. We make friends and we learn about them by listening to their stories. We are attracted by what seems as success and put off by what seems as misfortune. That’s all good, but there’s a catch. A trap that some fall in because of ignoring context.
The trap is that we’ve all, at some point, thought: “If I were you, […]”
Please simply stop saying that. It’s wrong on so many levels, and here is why.
You will forever be you and will never magically swap places with a different person. It’s absurd because of context. A person is defined by all of the experiences and elements he/she came in contact with by that time (context). So for every decision that that person makes there is an algorithm in place that dictates his/her reaction.
Saying “If I were you”, implies you would actually be that person and would end up making the same exact choices because you would have had the same experiences, have met the same people, have been influenced by the same ideas and so on.
So you see the absurdness in the statement?
It’s just a form of judging people – saying that they were not enough or you are better. Instead of thinking that (which is fundamentally wrong), a better use of mind space would be trying to identify at least a part of the elements that brought that person to the particular choice and try to understand how things were connected. Simply observe and stop ignorance from happening.
The mechanics behind this trap are the same as for giving and taking advice.
Never do it! It’s as close as it can get to ignorance.
How could you ever offer advice to a person when you know nothing of his/her universe?
How could anyone offer you advice when it’s basically impossible for that person to understand all of the different elements that created the situation and how it influences you and the context?
And more (absurdly), do you notice the audacity of thinking one could predict how everything would unfold?
After offering advice do you have any control of how it may impact the other person? Can you see the future? Or are you ignorant of the fact that you may cause harm?
Giving and taking advice is wrong. Trying to help a friend by discussing the events and possible outcomes is not. You can always brainstorm and ask the person more details on the event so that the realization would come from within him. Simply, you are not offering any “solutions” you are just discussing possible scenarios, helping that person observe more of the details. You need to set up an environment in which your friend, without knowing, would have connected to his Observer and can now use it to reach a possible conclusion. This way the solution will not come from you, but from the revelation he’ll have; a solution that keeps into account all of the subtle aspects of his/her unique universe.
A couple of things to note:
You are perfect at any given moment – because you are part of a system that is bigger than you – a system that has placed you exactly where you are. You may not see it and it may even not be possible to comprehend it simply because of its astronomical complexity. But rest assured that at any given moment you are part of context, you yourself are context and can never be alienated.
Do not compare to other people. It’s like comparing fish to bird and expect to use your fins to fly higher. It’s so easy to get distracted and to wish for what may seem as comfort and ease in other people’s life – but you have absolutely no clue how that came to be. You see a rich person and think that if you would just follow his/her steps you’d also be rich – nothing further from the truth. Just another clear case of ignoring context.
Would two parallel universes (that run by different laws) produce the same outcome/variation? I would argue that it’s far-fetched. That’s exactly what you are expecting when comparing yourself to a different person.
Be you. That’s the only truth!
Uninstall the structure of comparison now.
Even comparing you, as you are now, to an older version of you is semi-relevant. Instead, think of it as evolution. You were a person a year ago and now you are the ever improving version of that very person.
Some people may feel that they have changed. No, you have become. You have not changed. You should not compare yourself to an older version and notice changes. It’s an illusion. By becoming, by evolving, new traits surface. Things that always were inside of you and were meant to surface now have, and other will in time.
Evolution is the better perspective because it implies growth and it is not a structure that brings with it a “suitcase” of misinterpretation and wild cards.
“Change” and “comparison” in this context are structures that are stained by darker implications. Think about it: “Change” is scary to the core (to our primal survival instincts), and “Comparison” implies balancing different states of self in corrupt laboratory conditions (because of different context).
Do not forget that each and every word and idea will influence you and install an app/a structure. Unknowingly, you may use that to filter and process your reality and may alter it in a way that is to your disadvantage.
Choose to see it all as evolution!
In time, correctly choosing the word-tags to describe the processes you are going through will lead to better overall structure. The gains of doing so are exponential due to the nature of your processor. That is, by using clear words and clear function of core structures you enter a state of efficiency in rightfully perceiving the encompassing world.
Being inspired by other people success stories is natural and also very important in order to discover new ideas, but expecting to reach the exact same outcome is a trap. We should instead focus on how the new found ideas can influence our life and context.
Having in mind a desired outcome you simply need to process the strategy that is congruous to your context.
How do you do this? You use your Observer.
You put yourself to task, but instead of thinking let’s see how the other person did it, you would take into consideration your particular skill set, structures and context.
Want to reach fortune, fame, success (or whatever it may be)?
Then you start by learning more about yourself and start simulating on how you can use your unique set of skills and context.
Again, never compare the outcome of your actions to the one of other people. It’s not relevant. It’s just imagination, and coloring it by saying which is better is being ignorant of the absurd complexity of the parameters that lead to the particular outcome.
So, let’s just start our journey by saying: “Hmm, I wonder how this will look like in the end?” And then, step by step nurture it, and create no ignorant expectations on the way there.